Why Fantasy Football Is Like An Abusive Relationship

With every relationship, comes the good, the bad and the ugly. With every abusive relationship you get all of those to the extreme. As a first year Fantasy Football "team owner" (what the hell is that anyway), I feel like I've been knocked around and keep coming back for more. P.S. It's only Week 4.

WARNING: This post contains football player names, positions and abbreviations that you may not understand. Unlike common acronyms used for important medical terms, DO NOT google them, as these DO NOT mean anything of any importance to the real world.

Example (The Worst Offender):

Mike Williams is a WR on Tampa Bay. Our "relationship" started out fine. Week 1 he had 13 points. He was right in the middle of my WRs, Welker with an amazing 34 and Colston with a disappointing 8.6, and doing fairly well.

Then out of the blue, he smacks me with 0.10! 0.00 would have been better. With 0.10 it's like you tried but then gave up. Or better yet you tried, fail and your QB now hates you for the rest of the game. I've seen 0.10 games before but those guys went out injured! After a major blow out, which consisted of me yelling obscenities at my computer, WE WERE DONE! Finished! Broken up!

After my fit of rage, I cursed his name a few times and promptly drafted a new WR. I was an empowered woman that kicked his ass to the curb.

That is until Thursday rolled around...
In a moment of weakness, I looked at the match ups. My new WR was matched up against New England! Being a Fantasy Football virgin, (let's just add insult to injury) NE scares me. They are an amazing team and let's face it, Tom Brady has been unstoppable this season. My new WR was just that, new. I didn't know how he was going to perform. I started to panic and then my eyes landed on Williams. His team was playing Atlanta. (Not as scary at NE) I cursed his name, again, and added him to the active roster. So I guess we're "talking".

Why! Why! Why! Do I keep coming back! Week 3 TWO (The Worst Offender, Williams) had 6.8 points! So some is better than none but not enough to make up for last week! Again profanity ensued, again directed at my computer. After another poor performance, WE ARE DONE, again! Seriously, this time I mean it! I'm not going back. There is nothing he can say, do or a team that he can match up against that will make me take him back.

But then again, it's only Tuesday.